You’ve probably heard this very clichéd quote a bunch of times: “Nobody’s perfect.” Yeah, it rings some truth to it, but it gets thrown a lot so much that people just take it for granted. We all have flaws if you believe it is the way of life. And it is okay. What’s not is when people are not acknowledging their own mistakes while causing others some trouble. This time, “nobody's perfect” is more of an excuse rather than a perspective.
In life, you can’t avoid meeting people you don’t agree with. But there are also times when everyone seems to disagree with your actions. No, we’re not suggesting to conform or follow the status quo. There are just instances when we have to reflect and think about how we think and behave. Maybe we’re doing something that is “toxic” to those around us. And the first step to change is to be aware of certain negative traits that might need addressing. But how do you let go of these unwanted characteristics?
Who likes hanging out with a toxic person? So if you want people to stick around, you also have to do your part to get along. More often than not, a toxic someone upsets other people and might create conflict whether intentional or not. If you think you have at least one toxic trait, you could eventually repel important relationships in one way or the other. It could be at work, or at home, or in school, you could be spreading unwanted pheromones until people distance themselves from you.
Before you start to lose key people from your life, begin with yourself. It’s never too late to change. It actually starts with your mindset. Here are some steps to letting go of those toxicities you might not be aware of.
Self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement. If you want to remove your toxic traits, analyze yourself first. See how your actions affect you and others, be responsible about them, and most importantly, be honest. When you do this, it does not necessarily mean you are entirely toxic. You may just have some quirks that could make other people uncomfortable. It’s not also changing who you are. Consider it a way of upgrading to a better version of yourself. Maybe it’s time to grow up some more.
Next is to ask the people closest to you or who know you best. Be sure to really listen to what they are actually saying, not just what you wanted to hear. But be forewarned, you might receive feedback you don’t like to hear, and could even hurt your feelings. And it’s just fine. Keep in mind that this is to avoid possible bigger suffering—being left by people you value the most.
If at some point, you are starting to realize your toxic actions, learn to hold yourself accountable. Apologize when needed, be sincere, but don’t overdo it. Approach those whom you may have upset because of your actions. Offer a hand to help patch things up. How do you let go of past misdeeds? Try your best next time not to repeat the same again, and learn to forgive yourself too. You’re trying to live free, not build walls.
No one can change that much overnight. So don’t force yourself to change who you are. Once you’ve acknowledged and become aware of your toxic trait, take baby steps. Be strong enough to let go of those unwanted behaviors one by one, not all at once. If you do it big time, there’s a chance you’d easily revert back to what you’ve tried to improve. But small changes can lead to actual transformation.
One other fundamental reality is that “Nothing is permanent except change.” And like everything else, we are all capable of change. So if you think we can still improve and become better versions of ourselves, we support you! Be strong enough to let go of those toxicities, not relationships. With the above steps to letting go of your toxic self, live free with a better mindset and a better you.
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